It's 6:45am

I haven't 'slept' for the night....i did fall asleep for a few hours beside our little girl.....but i've been up working on my 1st score...
Well...not sure if you'd call it a score.....but it's a musical piece to accompany a video presentation....
It's for the the Olympic Association of a certain caribbean island.......
When I was asked to hop on board....instantly a track came to my mind.....one i'd done about 2-3 years ago......
It's upbeat....yet mellow...inspirational kinda.....

Just sent off the 1st draft to the producer/director..whatever you call the people who run the visual side of stuff....hoep she approves.....

so things feel like they're moving......i actually have my hands full with musical projects right now.....
In studio working on the EP....looking like a 5-6 track piece.....Toying with the name THe World Within
Initially planned it to be a solo instrumental thing...but thinking about inviting some of my talented friends (a few may be reading this) to hop on board........a singer or 2.....a DJ/beatmaker....a journalist....a 2 year old girl.....maybe even a sax player i know...:)
Plus haven't started working on a remix for a track by a new zealand group 50Hz....name of teh track is Seek Know More......the track is to appear on a new zealand tv series.......

In addition to that I'm still playingn out every tuesday night at weekenz......last week was horrible.....sound problems....was feeling low.....vibz wasn't great.....
....going to mad dem tomorrow night though.......lol

anyways.....i'm off to start the day....

Update...

Since Jan15th (last blog entry) I've:
-taken a film crew from new zealand around kingston for 2 weeks
-met Yellow man, King Jammys, Sean PAul, Billy Mystic
-started transferring tracks to Pro Tools for the upcoming EP
-been eating terribly
-exercised probably 3 times
-not had more than 5 hours sleep in one night
-not gone 2 days without smoking
-been feeling better about myself
-pushed out a few new beats
-gotten a new job
-have not had sex

Change.....

....was going to post this up on the myspace page but decided to keep it short over there and go into a lil more detail over on this page....

Alot's going on in my world right now.......sometimes it feels like its more than i can handle....
Sometimes i fel so 'close'...to what i don't know...but a comforting kind of closeness...and other days....like today.....i feel so far away from 'it'......lonely.....frustrated....confused....scared....

At the same time I realize this isn't a permanent state of mind...and feeling better is only a positive thought away......

These blogs are becoming less about music and more about the thoughts running thru my head....

Be warned...

Oh...i almost forgot what i was going to write about...change.....
It's a new year...i'm a year older...after living with someone for the past 4+ years....i'll be living alone...starting in another few weeks.......
I'm on the brink of a huge career shift......to me it's huge....
I'm feeling God's presence in my life more........some old friends and i seem to be outgrowing each other.......
I'm meeting new people.....but feel scared to open up to them....

Days like today i just want to curl up on a bed and be hugged......comforted.....told that everything's going to be ok...
It's days like today I ask myself..."what the fk are u doing with your life man?"....its days like today i want to be like some of those friends i'm growing apart from......want to feel secure as opposed to free........

That's something i've been thinking about alot lately after reading this book freedom vs. security.....Alot of my peers are secure....but they aren't free.....at 1st I'd be all judgemental and stuff....but walking this path i've chosen isn't easy....and i can now understand why people choose security over freedom....its easier....it's safer....
But freedom....to me is the only way.......i guess that's why I can get so low at times..cause i know i'm not there yet......
Alot of times i feel like i'm walking in the dark....with no flashlight.....looking for something.....don't even know what the fk i'm looking for....

ANYWAYS.....enough of that......
This blog has served its purpose.....I've vented....ii've released all the heavy negative self imposed doubt that has been on my back since i woke up this morning.....
Tomorrow's a new day......

I'm off now...to.....
-iron clothes for work tomorrow
-shower
-meditate
-pray
-plan tomorrow
-fall asleep beside my daughter...


g'nite

Rhythm

...that word....its one fo those words I've always had trouble spelling.....To this day wheenever i write or type that word i get flash backs of my grade 5 teacher looking me in the eye and saying "spell rhythm"......yeah that word has been on my mind alot lately.....

Like i was sayin in the previous post alot hasn't changed in my life.....in the tangible....but i'm seeing things ALOT differently now.....alot....and one of the things i've become more aware of is rhythm.......
not just with respect to music....but to relationships....y'know the phases/stages they go thru....the back and forth...tit for tat shit.....the push pull dynamic.......

in society...every morning i'm in my car headed to work...and everybody else is headed somewhere....school...work...home from working last night......somewhere......and i see a rhythm in that....it's weird but its almost like a slow pulsating 'energy' that pushes us along.....we just chugging our way thru life.....for alot of us that 'energy' is a paycheck....that's all that gets us up in the morning...."gottta go get paid".......but that's another blog..

but yeah..the rhythm thing......i've also been noticing...with regards to music.....my 'own' rhythm...i put own in '' cause i don't mean it like this is my posession or whatever.....i just mean that that's the pace and the feel that feels good to me......I think we all have one....i think i've found mine.......It doesn't necessarily have to be about tempo.....its a feeling....

In an unfamiliar kinda way....it's comforting

....riches

yeah......so I'm back....been all around the world and back.....
Back right where I left off....only now seeing things with different eyes....
Alot has changed in 2007....alot has stayed the same.....

One thing that's still there/here is this feeling i get when i hear what i call good music....the feeling i get when i'm grooving at 3am with my headphones on and my Trigger Finger on my lap.....tapping out sounds on the latest beat i'm workign on....

Where have i been?.....i'm not sure.....Part of me was asleep i guess.....
I'm awake now......
I feel a greater sense of responsibility and urgency now.....yet I know the plans will fall in place in due time with the right effort....

Anyways....i'm rambling.....
It's good to be back in blogland.....

Yeah

Next gear...

...been back from london/barcelona about 3 weeks now....
What's different since being back home??
-the girls aren't here (they're in tobago with d's mom unitl august 11)
-i'm meditating every morning and most evenings
-i'm eating alot better
-i'm exercising more regularly
-been inviting people to the house to record on some of my tracks....been going REALLY good so far....i wish i could play some of the stuff we have down for you.....i'm excited
-i'm at a new health centre
-i'm alot more grateful....in general
-i have some new friends who are REALLY REALLY cool
-i'm happier
-i'm less self-concious
-i'm praying more
-i'm reading a bit more
-i've learnt how to make a mouth watering salad (secret ingredients include sunflower seeds and purple basil)


out...

be back sooner than u think

New week..

Had a good week......hope this one is even better....
Got some music done.....wednesday was a holiday..went tobeach with D and the little one...
One step closer to Barcelona.
Oh...i didn't tell you about that???......

stay tuned

oh...new music over here

have a good one my people